Till purchase do us part – Buying a home with your spouse

02 Sep 2019

Men are from Mars; women are from Venus. You’ve heard it all before, but sometimes issues between even the best of couples are a bit bigger than what to get for dinner.

When it comes to buying a home, especially a first, several surveys have shown a strong disconnect between men and women’s interpretation of long-term goals. Men are far more likely to waste little time in search of their “forever home”, where they intend on raising their family and planting their roots. Women however, remain open to change in the future, perhaps to something they weren’t able to afford the first time around or an area that’s become more readily available. Another polarising issue is the preference of location over the features of the home itself. Women seem happier to sacrifice the prime location if it means a better kitchen and bigger backyard, whereas men would be happier in closer quarters in a high-profile suburb.


Even with the best of intentions, communication between couples can break down easily when the stakes are so high. Issues such as differing priorities and disagreements on budget can start out small but gradually eat away at both parties and cause tension. This is why it can be a good idea to involve a third party in the process. Preferably a real estate/financial professional that is unknown and therefore neutral. A person like this is able to find common ground among concerns on both sides and reach compromises that a normal set of buyers may miss otherwise. Usually, each couples’ individual circumstances will dictate how a communication like this takes place and what needs to be approached.

Keeping this process running smoothly from a relationship perspective is certainly more difficult than it looks. However, the simplest of endeavours can keep things civil and open up a world of opportunity. Firstly, couples should lay it all out on the table. Openness and honesty from the get go are the fastest route to your destination. This in turn will help you to understand your limits and come to terms with your priorities. In addition to this, don’t forget you’re living in the information age! Endless knowledge is available for you at the click of a mouse or push of the screen. Look up stats, certain areas, agent reviews, you name it. It’s all there to give you the clearest picture possible of what YOU want.

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